Sunday, February 25, 2007


this has unfortunately been started on 1/25/07 and is being completed TODAY: 3/2/07

Vhell, as jhoo must know, this show is basically the reason blood is running healthily through my veins. I have an electrical, emotional connection with the show and the contestants themselves. I have actually converted Joanna to Greasism because it's all I ever think about. Hence her lovement to Maxio Crumm. This love is so bizarre, it makes me giddy and my heart beat really fast and therefore makes me drink gallons of water to calm down. Last week, I made a precise PRECISE prediction about who would leave and who would be in the Bottom 4 and who would be saved. Do I honestly need to say that I was 1000% right with no mistakes? No, I don't, but I am going to. MOOHAHAHAHAHA! I WAS CORRECTOMUNDO.

The following people are the remaining contestants:

+Austin Miller

+Laura Osnes

+Max Crumm

+Allie Shulz

+Kevin Greene

+Ashley Spencer

+Derek Keeling

+Kathleen Monteleone

+Chad Dorreck

+Kate Rockwell

It is really a mental condition I have developed if I can easily name them off, first and last name plus the right spelling. It makes me shake my head at myself. But on to the neety greety, Nacho Libre style. I spent 2 hours of the WAY TOO MUCH EXTRA TIME I HAVE while I am at my dad's house doing something special. Or in your guys' possible opinion, bizarre. I comprehended and pondered and calculated and analyzed and reminisced about last week's episode and the contestants' performances. I then mapped out on the front and back of a fresh sheet of white paper these thoughts. I even incorporated some bizzare cartoon drawings that are just unexplainable.

First, a little sidenote. There are FIVE girls left and FIVE guys left. To determine who goes home, the Bottom 4 [the least 4 favorite] must have a sing off. Tonight's episode is getting straight to it, so think about the following: As I said just seconds ago, FIVE girls and FIVE guys left. Ok? Yes. Bottom 4 aka the least 4 favortie consist of TWO GUYS AND TWO GIRLS. Comprende? Si. Alright then. Once the hosts, Denise Van Outen and Billy Bush declare the Bottom 4, there will only be ONE safe guy and ONE safe girl that are FOR sure FOR sure FOR sure SAFE SAFE SAFE. That's a big deal, seeing as how on previous episodes there were 2-4 FOR SURE FOR SURE safe people. After TRULY truly TRULY deeply thinking and calculating, I KNOW who the safe guy and girl are going to be. And it's not just because they are my favorite:

Austin Miller: I hope we've established that he. is. my. hunkman. Literally; he makes me do my Seniorman sounds. And those sounds are strictly for Dogman. Okay, but to be serious here, last week's performance was all about duets to see who had fiery chemistry and who didn't. He sang with Laura, and it was so romantic and beautiful and deep it made my heart beat in my throat. And that hurts, but I endure it for my Hunkman:] The judges were just mesmerized and it was clear they were one of the Top Performances of the Night (why am I capatalizing things? giddiness?). He is almost too good to be true and had absolutely no flaws whatsoEVER to cause him to be in the Bottom 4 tonight. Also, I voted for him a little over 100 times. Dogman will tell you, she did the same for Maxamillion. We did it together. Bwhaha. He is the one contestant I can truly say was 100% perfect last week. It may seem I think this because he's only my favorite+my hunkman, but it's not, because I just so happen to think Maxie was like 99% perfecto also. That should make you content, KHOKAY?!!

Laura Osnes: It's just so ironic that her duet was with Austin and she is my favorite girl. Oyshoysh. <-I just said that out loud:D Well, I don't need to say much because she was with Austin, and I told you how passionate I was about this. KHENYWAYS. This is beyond bizarre, but apparently me and Laura may possibly have the same doily mouth. There's something, me and Joanna just have't quite figured it out yet. Teehee(what the HECK?!?!). This woman is truly my soul sister, she likes to do bizarre gymnastics moves with none other than Derek Keeling. Oh my, I feel so giddy right now and can't contain myself. I'm also trying to fill up space because I like things looking Spiffy Snazzy. Do you not SEE how perfect she is as a Sandy? And don't you just love the idea of a blonde Danny (Austin?) and a brunette Sandy (Laura?) ? It's so spicy and different, and I think we all need more of that in our lives. Or not. I don't know. If you're up to this point, then I truly thank you and shut the heck up about Laura. Oyzaza.

So, Maxie Crumm. He is my brother, he keeps me sane ETCETERA ETCETERA. I own his shirt. EESHIE. It's now Mels birthday and I don't exactly have a reason to finish this since it was supposed to be a PREDICTION for LAST SUNDAYS SHOW. Gosh. Anways. My next post will be satisfying; I'm about to post it now. JONJEH.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Finally Catching Up.

Yes, 'tis true. Not only have I been extremely lazy to be posting, but so has the Dogman. I have the following things to post, in order of importance:
+New arch nemesis, CATWOMAN.
+other bizarre things.

I need photos from Melissa.

Monday, February 5, 2007

Seniormans Full-bodied Week

Saturday night=exuberant.

There are these two fine young maidens named Zeinah Kara and Heather christy-ann Leith. I truly could not tell you in words how they make my heart burst. On Saturday I was stuck in my humble abode all morning and Zeinah saved my life by asking for me to join her on a picnic. Which was totally appealing since she and Heather were allegedly sleeping over that night. WELL, me and ZZ attempted to go to O'Neill park which didn't work when we clearly didnt have good fence hopping skills. So you know, we traveled in the wildreness of peoples' backyards. I'm serious. SERIOUSO! Anyways our picnic bag included plums, strawberries, mixed berry bards, V8 tomato juice, and a little treat I like to call OREOS. So I was wearing plaid shorts which rewarded me by letting my legs get scratched by the vildreness. yes the vildreness. not wilderness. well there were many cacti, so we retired to eat on ZZ's trampoline. It was quite peaceful. Furthermore, we downed our delecacies and I showed ZZ some flips on the trampoline in which I got many wedgies and made ZZ laugh. My absurd mother soon came to pick us up and we went to VAL MART where i purchased TEEN VOGUE and BLOCKBUSTER where me and ZZ rented the BREAKFAST CLUB to attempt watching at the upcoming slumberade. Vhell, once we arrived home, Heather Leith was SECONDS away from arriving. Oh jhes. Whilst Heath's arrival, we made an eccentric dinner. This dinner consisted of many delecacies including an eccentric salad containing cranberries by none other than moi, and burnt mozorella sticks by my mother. OH, and don;t forget the Sherman Patties we dipped in PREGO sauce. What a meal. Of course, who discovered that fruit placed tenderly upon one's eyelids feels tingly? Why, ZZ and Heath of course!?! Bizarre, I know. Doy. Observe these nightmare-provoking photos of ZZ. Khoaky, on to what went down as we made our way up to my hearth. As ZZ and Heather became sucked into the World Wide Web, I soon came up with an itinerary for the night to come.

Le Itinerary:
+make absurd surveys
+Eat Sherman Patties
+watch the Breakfast Club
+watch Sam Meeker DVD.
+is Philadelphia a state?
+Go to bed, or try
+wake up after trying
+brush our teeth with fishpaste, using our toesies.
+Dye our hairs periwinkle.
+Girls just wanna have forks! DUH
+Smell Danya's anus odors which resemble Sea World water
+Bow to the heavens
+Aspire to be Michelle Pons who has no hygiene.
+Attempt to merge into the "gang life"
+Go whale watching in Russia

So that was our intinerary which we OBVIOUSLY followed. We proceeded to using every blanket in my house to make a bungalow downstairs which was quite comfortable aside from the occasional feeling of tile on our bellies. We started the Breakfast Club, and I wish I could give an Oscar worthy review, but I fell asleep after 10 minutos. ZZ and Heather held through excpet for Heather falling alseep the last ten minutos.

But wait. What are you usually doing at 6 o clock on the weekends? In the morning?
Well I heard someone belting their heart out as I tired to snooze, and suddenly Heather says in a grotesque morning voice.
Oh, I heard it indeed. It was distinct, bubblegum pop music blaring through the house. Jessica Simpsons first teeny-bopping album to be exactamundo. The source? Why none other than my mothers ALARM clock. Now think about this. It's right next to her bed. We are down in the family room. It was as clear as day hw loud we heard this grossness. AND MY MOTHER? NOT HEARING IT? Heather in all seriousness wondered if my madre had hearing problems. I think she does now since we had to endure about 13 songs of this blaring and just talked over it... Oh my holy man. We finally got back to sleep and were awoken by mother clammering around in the KEETCHEN.

We were majorly craving HOME MADe crispy waffles. And were our wishes granted? NO! Because my madre is so untraditional. Nevertheless, the slumber was amazing, beautiful, eccentrified. :D