There are these two fine young maidens named Zeinah Kara and Heather christy-ann Leith. I truly could not tell you in words how they make my heart burst. On Saturday I was stuck in my humble abode all morning and Zeinah saved my life by asking for me to join her on a picnic. Which was totally appealing since she and Heather were allegedly sleeping over that night. WELL, me and ZZ attempted to go to O'Neill park which didn't work when we clearly didnt have good fence hopping skills. So you know, we traveled in the wildreness of peoples' backyards. I'm serious. SERIOUSO! Anyways our picnic bag included plums, strawberries, mixed berry bards, V8 tomato juice, and a little treat I like to call OREOS. So I was wearing plaid shorts which rewarded me by letting my legs get scratched by the vildreness. yes the vildreness. not wilderness. well there were many cacti, so we retired to eat on ZZ's trampoline. It was quite peaceful. Furthermore, we downed our delecacies and I showed ZZ some flips on the trampoline in which I got many wedgies and made ZZ laugh. My absurd mother soon came to pick us up and we went to VAL MART where i purchased TEEN VOGUE and BLOCKBUSTER where me and ZZ rented the BREAKFAST CLUB to attempt watching at the upcoming slumberade. Vhell, once we arrived home, Heather Leith was SECONDS away from arriving. Oh jhes. Whilst Heath's arrival, we made an eccentric dinner. This dinner consisted of many delecacies including an eccentric salad containing cranberries by none other than moi, and burnt mozorella sticks by my mother. OH, and don;t forget the Sherman Patties we dipped in PREGO sauce. What a meal. Of course, who discovered that fruit placed tenderly upon one's eyelids feels tingly? Why, ZZ and Heath of course!?! Bizarre, I know. Doy. Observe these nightmare-provoking photos of ZZ. Khoaky, on to what went down as we made our way up to my hearth. As ZZ and Heather became sucked into the World Wide Web, I soon came up with an itinerary for the night to come.
+make absurd surveys
+Eat Sherman Patties
+watch the Breakfast Club
+watch Sam Meeker DVD.
+is Philadelphia a state?
+Go to bed, or try
+wake up after trying
+brush our teeth with fishpaste, using our toesies.
+Dye our hairs periwinkle.
+Girls just wanna have forks! DUH
+Smell Danya's anus odors which resemble Sea World water
+Bow to the heavens
+Aspire to be Michelle Pons who has no hygiene.
+Attempt to merge into the "gang life"
+Go whale watching in Russia
So that was our intinerary which we OBVIOUSLY followed. We proceeded to using every blanket in my house to make a bungalow downstairs which was quite comfortable aside from the occasional feeling of tile on our bellies. We started the Breakfast Club, and I wish I could give an Oscar worthy review, but I fell asleep after 10 minutos. ZZ and Heather held through excpet for Heather falling alseep the last ten minutos.
But wait. What are you usually doing at 6 o clock on the weekends? In the morning?
SLEEPING OF COURSE.
Well I heard someone belting their heart out as I tired to snooze, and suddenly Heather says in a grotesque morning voice.
"DANYA DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
Oh, I heard it indeed. It was distinct, bubblegum pop music blaring through the house. Jessica Simpsons first teeny-bopping album to be exactamundo. The source? Why none other than my mothers ALARM clock. Now think about this. It's right next to her bed. We are down in the family room. It was as clear as day hw loud we heard this grossness. AND MY MOTHER? NOT HEARING IT? Heather in all seriousness wondered if my madre had hearing problems. I think she does now since we had to endure about 13 songs of this blaring and just talked over it... Oh my holy man. We finally got back to sleep and were awoken by mother clammering around in the KEETCHEN.
We were majorly craving HOME MADe crispy waffles. And were our wishes granted? NO! Because my madre is so untraditional. Nevertheless, the slumber was amazing, beautiful, eccentrified. :D